As I sit here and watch my little one sleep, I am overwhelmed by how much I love him - like my heart will surly burst if I love him any more.
I was not prepared for the intensity of parenting - how the nights and days would blend together, how deeply I’d crave a few minutes of alone time or just how much this little being would need me.
But as challenging and intense as parenting is, I can’t imagine my life without him.
My aunty gifted us books when the little dude was born and one of the books features photos of babies with different cute sayings. None sums up my life more perfectly than:
“His little hands stole my heart and his feet ran away with it.”
These tiny humans have a way of filling our hearts and warming our souls that no other being could manage.
They are truly precious; a gift from the universe.
They are also our greatest teachers.
As he’s grown in size, so has my patience.
As he learned to sit, stand and walk, I have learned to pause, breath and develop a deeper sense of empathy than I thought possible.
As he figures out how the world works, I am figuring out how my role in life is changing.
Nothing prepares us for parenthood - for all the changes to come. I remember saying to myself that life can’t possibly change that much. We will still do all our same activities; we’ll just modify them. “Surely a child change change my life that much,” I thought.
Oh, I was wrong.
I didn’t take into account how I would change. I am not the same person I was before becoming a mother.
There are many parts of me that still exist - I still love to travel and explore, dig in the garden, spend time outside, practice yoga and all the lovely activities I enjoyed in my pre-mom life.
But I’m different in a lot of ways too, many of which I think only other parents can understand.
When we become parents, our capacity for love, patience and empathy expands. Our focus turns away from the external and more towards the internal. Perhaps one of the most beautiful changes is one’s ability to experience a broader perspective.
We learn to find joy in the seemingly routine and mundane parts of our lives.
Joy comes from watching the pride on your child’s face when he cracks an egg into a bowl.
Joy comes from hearing your child scream “Dada” as his dad walks in the door after a day away at work.
Joy comes from endless hours of uninhibited giggles.
We truly learn to appreciate those tiny moments in life. Those moments that make your heart smile. Those moments that fill your cup. Those moments you hope you remember when the lines on your face are deeply carved and your hair turns grey.
Because in the end, it doesn’t matter what we’ve done or seen in our lives. It doesn’t matter what we bought or sold. And it doesn’t matter what we achieved in life. All the really matters is how deeply we loved.
And nothing in my life has made this more evident than becoming a parent.